Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
