I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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