Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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