Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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