at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
