Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
