I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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