So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
