Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
