Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
