Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
