batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
