A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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