My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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