All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
