This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
