I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
