We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
