new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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