her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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