I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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