I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
