ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
