dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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