pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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