dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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