I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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