youre lurking in front of me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
