the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
