you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
