I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
