I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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