weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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