Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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