Where did you get a picture of my penis
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
