bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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