Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
