did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
