I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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