While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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