cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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