For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
