I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
