I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
