There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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