I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
