then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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