sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
