Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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