Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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