awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
