2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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