dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
